First Marriage Win

You should never keep score in your marriage.

With that being said, I am certain that my first win in marriage was our wedding day. Oh, it was absolutely lovely. Both of us count it as the best day of our lives because it was just what we wanted – a day of love. We wanted some things traditional. I wore a big dress; he wore a tux. Other things, like the decision not to have a bridal party, not to invite children, or have everyone wear only black and white, we wanted to be done our way. Everything was perfect. Everyone, including us, partied all night long. We drank, we danced, we kissed, and we remember every moment.

I consider it a win because I had been given all the advice from those who were already married about how horrible the wedding day could be. “Something will go wrong,” they said. “You will get into an argument with your spouse about something that day. Everyone does,” they said. “The day will fly by and you won’t remember a thing,” they told me. “No one is ever sure,” they warned. Some, both friends and strangers, were adamant that no one should ever get married and that we should both run in opposite directions of one another. Those words of advice caused me to cringe every time, just imagining how absolutely miserable their spouses must be to wake up to someone who regrets their wedding day so much they would share that advice with others. I can only imagine how thick the tension in their households must be.

I was so worried about getting into a huge argument with him about nothing and spending my entire wedding day regretting my decision. I could just see both of us at the altar in front of everyone we care about, stumbling over our words and shifting our eyes because we couldn’t forget the horrible words we had thrown at one another just the day before. Luckily, God placed peace over our hearts during the four months we planned our wedding. I just think that those weeks leading up to your nuptials are so important that even the most insignificant argument over the smallest of things is enough to throw your mind and heart off kilter. The pressure is heavy on your wedding day.┬áIt’s so daunting and just plain scary!

I can only speak for myself. My fiance and I never had a conversation about it, but I remember hearing the advice of others and doing my best to be at peace. When it didn’t seem like things were going to work out (the rental furniture was expensive, my wedding dress didn’t fit, or I couldn’t get people to RSVP on time), I approached each issue with patience and understanding. I knew that whatever feelings I had would be delivered to my significant other. After all, we were about to become one. I didn’t want the man I planned to be with the rest of my life to see me panicking; I didn’t want to give him a reason to question his decision. We planned a spectacular wedding in four months and got through the issues together – one at a time – harmoniously.

Keeping the peace on the most important day of your marriage starts before you say “I Do.” Go into the process with peace in your heart, and everything else will fall into place.

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